A week ago, I decided to get a reign on my health and I signed up for a free trial at a gym. The feels were there…being overweight and going to the gym has such a negative association that I often avoided it like the plague. When I lived in Shanghai, I joined a group called FitFam (this group can be found in major cities in China) and I started doing yoga. At least a few times a week. I remember my first class, it was 6:30am and I was scared and excited. I almost didn’t make it on time because China! And if you’ve lived in a monstrous city like Shanghai, you know it’s easy to get lost when biking or walking but not so much if you hail a taxi or call a driver.
I couldn’t believe I had gotten up at around 5:00am, got dressed and took the first train of the day to the inner city. I lived in Yangpu, a district south of Jing’an (city center), so it often times took me 30 minutes to an hour to commute, and this often meant a line transfer as well. But I made it! I did it! Every Monday and Tuesday for more than a month before I left, I went to yoga classes. I practiced and Joyberry studios (if you have a chance, please show your support for such an amazing space!), we practiced outside in Fuxing Park and at WeWork on West Nanjing. One day, I definitely added too much to my plate. I did 2 hours of dancing took a train to my 1 hour yoga class. That was the first time I’d ever put in so much effort to exercise.
What I’m saying is…find something you like to do. If you like to dance, go to a dance class. No matter what size you are! If you like yoga, go to a class. There are other people who have been in the same position. Shoot, I was in that position. I was scared of being judged because…here’s this fat chick trying to exercise. But I realized after watching a few YouTube videos, that it’s not about that. It’s about me! Everyone at the gym is there for almost the same reason. To get fit, lose weight, or promote a healthier lifestyle. But we all have our reason. Find out yours.
I’m not going to lie and say “oh, this is easy” or “oh, I just did it” because that’s not enough. Find your reason. If you need strength find it. Motivation can come from anyone and anywhere. If you even that the people closest to you won’t help you, look for an online community. Sometimes, they hold you more accountable than the people who you see everyday. My community is YouTube. My community is my best friend who went the same route. My strength comes from a promise I made to myself.
And talk to someone about it! I plan to see a dietitian, nutritionist, and a therapist because I know I am weak at points. I know that I’m not always self-motivated or enjoy the judgment that I believe working out can conjure inside my mind. My problem has never been eating, but it’s how I eat. What I eat. It’s always best to talk to people who are not on your side. That’s what important about therapy and speaking to someone. They’re unbiased. They’re trying to help you with a problem. They haven’t known you since you were born and see your countless “failures” (I write with quotations because every experience makes us who we are).
I hope that my words resonate with someone out there. If you need motivation, I’m here. You can message me on IG, YouTube, and basically anywhere. Let’s form a community. Let’s inspire.
Here is a wonderful YouTube video I found while at the gym. You’ll have to get past her workout routine if you want to hear her talk but she’s amazing and her words found a place in my exercise soul.
A Shi Life 