2020

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted but now that I’m in a much better headspace, I want to update everyone on what I’ve been doing!

Mentally: I’m in a much better headspace than before. I’m finally thriving even though I’ve been sick with some kind of cold…anywho, I’m living! I’ve been focusing on my emotions and honing in how to control them. I often ask myself: why am I (insert emotion)? But not after I have the emotion but during the emotion. I think this is helping me learn to control them and figure out what I need to change in myself to be better.

I’m reading again! I miss it. I’ve had so much free time that I forgot how to use it. And that may seem weird but it’s true! I’m so used to having so much free time that I often waste it. I’m looking forward to maximizing my day.

What am I doing? I haven’t yet found a permanent job. And it’s annoying! I miss having a schedule, I miss working. Lately, I’ve been focusing on taking Korean classes via Duolingo and I’m slowly but surely becoming more comfortable with the language. There are still some questions that I have but once I feel like I’m comfortable enough for myself, I’m going to pay for an online tutor. I do plan to move to South Korea before the end of the year, whether it be teaching or doing some other job. But I’m ready to leave and see something new and different.

I’m also a Duolingo Ambassador/Event Host! We only have Spanish-speaking events in my area so I submitted an application for Korean and Chinese. I hope that some people will come out and job whether they are taking lessons via Duolingo or not!

Physically: I’m back working out. I’ve lightened my load and only workout once a day for 30 minutes doing various yoga moves. I’ve been cooking so much since the new year came in. It’s a silent goal that I made to myself. I want to focus on what goes in me a lot more, I wouldn’t say it’s become money is low because you have to buy food to make it but out of creativity. I’ve been really outdoing myself lately. Here’s a picture of Chicken & Shrimp Alfredo (with a homemade sauce). I’m really good at making food and I’m always so excited to share it with people.

I’ll keep everyone updated on my progress!!

Comment down below if you’ve made and stuck to some of your silent goals?

De-calm-pressing

It’s been a few days since I’ve posted and I’ll be honest…it was definitely because I was playing Sims again. Terrible. I know but I love Sims and have been playing it for about 15 years now.

I want to talk about Sims and how I use it to help me destress. I love playing this game, it detaches me from reality and gives me the chance to play lives I wish about. There’s so much to do in Sims that the game itself is a dark whole, one that a lot of users find to be a whole that we love. But also, it gives me the chance to destress and get away from everyday reality. Sometimes, it negativity is too much for us to handle and we find an outlet. That’s what Sims does for me.

I also like to do yoga, I picked up the practice again when I was in China. I faithfully when almost twice a week whenever my body allowed me to and I felt so much better. But to be honest, yoga can be stressful. I had to learn to not judge myself against the thin-framed ladies beside me who seemed so limber. I realized that we were there for the same reason, to become one with our minds. The point of yoga is to focus, or at least that’s what I want to think. Yoga makes me feel like the stress I put on my shoulders just melts away. The worries that I had yesterday seem to fade into the downward facing dog of today.

There are many ways to destress. One of those is physical activities, working out and keeping our bodies active seems to promote our minds to do the same. Another is to figure out what our triggers are…are there circumstances that come up that make us want to take a break? What’s causing those triggers? Maybe it’s us that makes this happen? Are we overthinking simple things? Are we relying too much on others for our oneness?

Here are some ways to help you destress: https://chopra.com/articles/10-ways-to-de-stress-your-mind-and-body

We have too much going on in our lives to not take a moment to take care of ourselves. Take care of yourself. Log off of social media, turn off your phone, take a walk outside. Find minutes for yourself. Those minutes could change your life.

Exer-Soul

A week ago, I decided to get a reign on my health and I signed up for a free trial at a gym. The feels were there…being overweight and going to the gym has such a negative association that I often avoided it like the plague. When I lived in Shanghai, I joined a group called FitFam (this group can be found in major cities in China) and I started doing yoga. At least a few times a week. I remember my first class, it was 6:30am and I was scared and excited. I almost didn’t make it on time because China! And if you’ve lived in a monstrous city like Shanghai, you know it’s easy to get lost when biking or walking but not so much if you hail a taxi or call a driver.

I couldn’t believe I had gotten up at around 5:00am, got dressed and took the first train of the day to the inner city. I lived in Yangpu, a district south of Jing’an (city center), so it often times took me 30 minutes to an hour to commute, and this often meant a line transfer as well. But I made it! I did it! Every Monday and Tuesday for more than a month before I left, I went to yoga classes. I practiced and Joyberry studios (if you have a chance, please show your support for such an amazing space!), we practiced outside in Fuxing Park and at WeWork on West Nanjing. One day, I definitely added too much to my plate. I did 2 hours of dancing took a train to my 1 hour yoga class. That was the first time I’d ever put in so much effort to exercise.

What I’m saying is…find something you like to do. If you like to dance, go to a dance class. No matter what size you are! If you like yoga, go to a class. There are other people who have been in the same position. Shoot, I was in that position. I was scared of being judged because…here’s this fat chick trying to exercise. But I realized after watching a few YouTube videos, that it’s not about that. It’s about me! Everyone at the gym is there for almost the same reason. To get fit, lose weight, or promote a healthier lifestyle. But we all have our reason. Find out yours.

I’m not going to lie and say “oh, this is easy” or “oh, I just did it” because that’s not enough. Find your reason. If you need strength find it. Motivation can come from anyone and anywhere. If you even that the people closest to you won’t help you, look for an online community. Sometimes, they hold you more accountable than the people who you see everyday. My community is YouTube. My community is my best friend who went the same route. My strength comes from a promise I made to myself.

And talk to someone about it! I plan to see a dietitian, nutritionist, and a therapist because I know I am weak at points. I know that I’m not always self-motivated or enjoy the judgment that I believe working out can conjure inside my mind. My problem has never been eating, but it’s how I eat. What I eat. It’s always best to talk to people who are not on your side. That’s what important about therapy and speaking to someone. They’re unbiased. They’re trying to help you with a problem. They haven’t known you since you were born and see your countless “failures” (I write with quotations because every experience makes us who we are).

I hope that my words resonate with someone out there. If you need motivation, I’m here. You can message me on IG, YouTube, and basically anywhere. Let’s form a community. Let’s inspire.

Here is a wonderful YouTube video I found while at the gym. You’ll have to get past her workout routine if you want to hear her talk but she’s amazing and her words found a place in my exercise soul.