Recently, I started to get real comfortable with myself. Who I am, what I want to do. What I love. I was talking to his one guy I thought would eventually blossom into a relationship but before it could get started, no roots were able to take place. We didn’t agree on a lot of subjects and I often felt alone in the friendship that started.

And by alone, I mean just that. There would be times I would be with him and I would just feel so lonely. I also felt like had something continued, he would have attempted to control my every single move and that’s not something I’m okay with. So, a few days ago, I sent the lengthy message that I didn’t think we’d work out, even as friends.

But everyone, there’s a lot of warning signs that I missed. One: the need for him to have absolute control. He wanted all of that and more. He wanted to control who I talked to, what I said to those people, how I spent my money, what I spent my money on and even down to the way I dressed. There were also the random threats of hitting me (even though I took them as him joking [he never actually put his hands on me]). It was a mess. And I was falling right into the trap until…I started speaking with another guy and the 180 of the personalities woke me up. The new friend encouraged me and my love of reading. He reads as well, so often times we talk about different genres, what we’re currently reading and why we’re reading it. I told him I wanted to become a writer and unlike guy #1 {who told me he didn’t understand why people picked up a book after finishing school), he was like wow, what do you write and WHEW, the difference!

The new friend makes me happy and I’m excited to talk with him, tell him how my day went. He once asked me what I wanted to do when I got older and I was like, I’d be happy on a farm or a spot of land or happy in a neighborhood but that I wanted 2 houses, one on the east coast and one somewhere else and you know what?! He agreed. He was like, I can see that happening. We haven’t met yet, actually, we’re no where near each other (I’m in the South and he’s in AZ and in the military) so I know it’ll be awhile before I physically see him but it’s just so nice to have someone who seems to be on your team, even as a friend.

So, this is my message: never settle or minimize yourself for the comfort of someone else. I do know that had things progressed him and I, I wouldn’t have been the person I could’ve been and I would have…done the worst thing you can think of. I know that my life would’ve been miserable. My bloom would have shrived up and died. I learned my worth over the last few months and it’s the best thing I could’ve done.