As we’re coming to the close of 2021, I want to review with you all (old and new) how my life has…changed.
After surviving COVID in 2020, I decided I no longer wanted to live in a bubble of myself. I started to get serious about dating and finding someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And that started to really come to fruition at the beginning of the year with a man who had. gotten a degree in China, moved to the States, and completed his Masters’ degree. Now, I’ll admit, I was intimidated by his ‘knowledge’ but I kept trigging off. It did not go as planned and things hastily went left. We were not getting along and he would often search for other woman while we were next to each other. It didn’t shatter my view of men but it did make me see him in a different light. Finally, we had “the talk”. He admitted that because I had tattoos, his very religious family would not approve of me and he didn’t want to defend me every time we met. I think there’s more to the story but hm. I’m not looking in depth. I thought we could potentially be friends but that was not going to happen. I realized, I would always think of him being more than a friend so I cut it off.
Weight-loss–nothing promising happened this year. I was fasting and had lost weight but it’s difficult. It is so hard to commit and see the results. I realized I needed to develop a healthier routine with food and I’m still working on that.
A newfound love? Around the end of March, I met my now “friend” (I only say friend because we haven’t actually met in person). He’s in the military, speaks four languages, and loves books just as much as I do (he’s sent me one of his favorites). I think the one thing I find the most attractive is the way he listens to me. I know it’s at the bottom of the barrel for expectations but he really does make me feel like I can conquer anything that comes to my mind. I enjoy talking with him and hearing his opinion.
Work. I’ll be honest, the current predicament of my job has started to wear on my mentally. I dislike what I do and most days I have a panic attack before I clock in. Asking for time off is nearly impossible and I just…want to find a job that I love doing, ya know? I have been at my job for almost two years and in that time I have only managed to move just one step up. I have applied for other opportunities but I hear nothing back, it’s disheartening and leads to a lot of people not wanting to do the job. I am on the hunt for a job in the medical field so that I can gather experience and continue working on my second degree.
Life.
My life has been a rollercoaster these past few months. My gastrointestinal problems have only gotten worse. I’ve almost 100% removed dairy from it and now ask restaurants if the food I’m choosing has dairy. In January, I have another endoscopy which will hopefully give us some answers to what’s been going on. Nothing is making sense and I’m tried of being sick. I miss not having constantly pain. Maybe one day the light will start to flicker.
Books.
In a few days I will compile all of the books I’ve read with a short synopsis. Most of my books have been focused around black authors. I hope my review will lead someone to maybe buying and reading the book themselves. I would like to open a book club that promotes a diverse reading space. Who knows, maybe I will.
It’s now time for me to start getting ready for work. I’ll check in later.
Love,
Shyday
A Shi Life 